The Life I had back

I am sorry, I am trying hard to be in this world but its very hard to be ........ I am trying to return to being a child/ spontaneous/ happy.. trying new stuff and experimenting the world again through my 5 senses but ... failing

I dont like being alone, but I dont like being with people too... why am I wrong/ weird/ strange/ different.. I want to feel normal/ be normal/ but be a child

I am always lamenting being a girl, I always feel abused by the idea of being for the family ... no identity of my own... no voice... no choice... I always feel imprisoned, so am I imprisoning myself or is it the society

Most girls doesnt feel the way I feel... why are they different to me.. why do they feel that its normal to be treated that way!! why is it unjust to me.. am I really that different

Why am I like that Why am I hurt Why am I different Why cant I have a voice

I am jailed in my family's traditions and soon will be jailed in my husband's

Why cant I have my candy life back?

The one I had when I was just a little girl 

My candy life

Today I thought about starting a new era in Mimi's world "The candy life era"!! can I succeed ... ??? well I have to try to succeed... right! OK, lets get started.

I want to go and buy some candy.. maybe with a 50 pound I can get ... 7 Cheetos chips- big bag of warms candy- big packet of sour candy strips- 2 kinder surprise chocolate- lollipops- meringue- pudding

I don't have the money so I will borrow some........ you all borrow money right, mmm well maybe not for candy .. but I will do it anyway

Great lets move on to ....... prayers :) we have 5 prayers a day.... this is my money for the future and to add them up to millions when ever I miss a pray I will give a candy away as a sad'ka .. I guess I will pray all 

Candy is the solution for all !!!! lets see 

STAY TUNED

Get to the habit of brushing teeth 3 a day- so for every time I remember to brush my teeth ... I will gain a candy and every time I forget ... I will brush with baking powder paste :) natural mouth wash

last but not least ... yoga/exercise 2 a day- I love exercise but I am sometimes lazy because I don't want to make it alone ... exercise is about being with people in a gum or with kids at least ... I will start doing it with nature and a big bag of candy :) :) I think it maybe better but I need to buy yoga mat and clean up the roof